OMG Does Watson Suck

 

If the Browns didn't pull Watson after the first half in Philadelphia, they are never going to remove him from the lineup.  It's like one of those war movies where the general keeps sending his troops charging into certain death, his ego unable to stop himself from continuing the madness.  It is starting to feel more and more like Haslam will force the coaching staff to play Watson each and every down for the length of the contract just to permanently stain Watson's memory onto every NFL fan in the world.  Tune into Jeopardy 2035...  "Worst NFL QB of all time?  Oh, that's easy.  Who is Deshaun Watson!".  That's what being a billionaire is all about.  You can destroy the entire franchise just to payback a guy who fleeced you.  I have to hand it to the Haslams.  They appear to be cold blooded vindictive motherfuckers.  They will probably cut the starting offensive line next year and make Watson line up behind D3 guys just to see if they can break his spine and put him in an iron lung.

I saw that graphic during the broadcast which noted this offense is worse than the 1999 Browns.  It's important to note that this is essentially all the same players that were a Top 10 offense last year with PJ Walker/DTR/Flacco/Watson that have now become historically futile by just having Watson 100% behind center.  Watson's lack of production is, for lack of a better term, fucking startling.  Check these stats out...

* Browns 3rd down conversion rate is dead last in the NFL at 18%.  The next worst is Denver way up at 25%.  Washington is 52%.

*  At halftime, Watson had a streak going of being 0-25 in his last third downs.  Good Lord.

*. Only four players in NFL history have a lower yards per dropback.  

You know how many shitty quarterbacks we have seen in Cleveland?  Watson is worse.  DeShone Kizer in the winless season?  Watson's worse.  Add in all the other franchises busts, and Watson is worse than them too.  If Deshaun Watson really bears down, he could at midseason be as good as vintage Ryan Leaf or Demarcus Russell.  Look, I know that sounds like some kind of blowhard joke, but that is the mathematical reality.  Seriously.  He is in rarified air as being one of the worst QBs of all time AND the unquestioned answer to "What's the worst sports trade in history?".  It took about 100 years, but the Babe Ruth trade by the Red Sox doesn't look so bad now by comparison.     

The Browns are basically tanking games at this point running Watson out at QB.  They have a legitimate shot at going 1-16 after being 11-6 last year with minimal personnel changes.  I've never seen anything like it.  What must that locker room be like?  If you're a receiver not named Amari Cooper, your entire life that you have devoted to playing football is about to go up in smoke because Watson GIVES ZERO FUCKS and spent all off season DOING NOTHING.   He will show you his diamond pajama pants, vapid girlfriend and lime green Ferrari though.  Jerry Jeudy is going to be looked at as a total flop thanks to Watson.  Elijah Moore?  Dude is cooked.  These guys clinging on at the bottom of the roster will have zero stats and be out of football as there is a whole new crop of guys coming in from the NCAA with more "upside".   If I'm on the Browns offensive side of the ball, I order a "Code Red" on the flight home tonight. 

What else is there to talk about?  Sure, the o-line sucks but Watson can't get rid of the ball so that makes them look worse.  They ran the ball reasonably well today, but they can't get a short yardage gain when they need it because the other team is playing in an 8 yard box knowing Watson can't fucking throw the ball downfield!  Making matters worse, Flacco led the Colts to another win with two TDs.  Mayfield won for Tampa with four TDs.  Hey, maybe Colt McCoy will show up somewhere Monday and toss a couple quick TDs for a win.  It really can't get worse.  But yet, it seems like it is going to, no?  

The only interesting thing about the Browns now is how hot the trash fire burns.  Look, if they couldn't get a win with a strong defensive performance and a special teams TD, how are they going to win a game in this league?  This was about as close a look as they'll get.  It's now going to be a measure of how vindictive the Haslams are on this thing.  Will they burn down the entire team just to publicly humiliate Watson?  It sure as hell looks like it.  The real question is if they will run Watson out for two more years after this catastrophe just because they can.  Again, it looks like this NFL franchise might soon dedicate itself to exclusively shaming Deshaun Watson.  These are unchartered waters.  It's clearly not about winning games any longer.  It's about something else.

Go Browns.