They Are Who We Thought They Were

 

As Browns fans brace for the unwanted revival of "The Shedeur Sanders Controversy" where various people start weighing in on the viability of either of these two quarterbacks being "The Guy", the Browns still lost.  On the positive side, Sanders unexpectedly led the offense down the field at the end looking suddenly competent to tie the game.  The negative is that anyone watching the game in NE Ohio did the same thing I did and said "There's no way they are going to get that two point conversion".  We all knew how that was going to play out.  The entire offense with Sanders is built on the premise that there will be a whole bunch of terrible looking plays and then every now and again you'll get a big play down the field.  It's a perfect recipe for the ESPN/social media video confirmation bias for the "Sanders is the best QB of all time and is being treated poorly" camp.  If you were to make a montage of all the shitty plays Sanders made, holding the ball FOREVER before taking a sack, that video would run far too long.  He's a young QB that takes too long to get the ball out and underestimates the speed of the defense.  That isn't going to stop us from seeing his three genuinely excellent highlight plays all week.  

That was maybe the worst football game I've ever watched for three quarters.  The Browns were seemingly penalized on every play in the 1st quarter for six (6) accepted penalties.  BTW, I looked up the all-time NFL record and that was 11 penalties in one quarter from one of those crappy Derek Carr era Raiders teams.  There's still room to grow.  I think the Browns can get there.  I don't understand that it seems to have no impact on who the coach is or the Browns roster, but they are ALWAYS amongst the most penalized teams in the league.  Consistently losing 5-10 yards per possession does not make for a successful team.  The Browns have seventeen (17) more penalties than any other team this year which is absolutely mind blowing. They are averaging 11 penalties per game, the worst in the NFL.  Tough to win games that way. 

This was one of those classic Browns away game losses to a bad team.  The team has always specialized in self-inflicted losses to inferior opponents, but I thought it was a nice touch this week to be unable to move the ball at all on the ground.  Judkins is averaging 2.9 yards per carry, while on the other side of the field a guy that just got taken off the Browns practice squad went 15 for 72 yards and a touchdown.  Was it just me or did Estime look like the best running back on the field?  To be fair, he only averaged about two and change while briefly a Brown, so maybe there isn't anyone that can run behind this line.  The Browns are going to have to spend some high draft capital on a running back and probably another couple offensive linemen.  All the good teams (and the Bucs!) rank at the top of rushing yards.  All the bad teams (and the Packers!) rank at the bottom.  The Browns are nestled in down with the Titans and Saints towards the bottom.  That ain't good.

That leads to the all consuming QB question.  All those national talk shows are going to go crazy about who should be the starter in Cleveland.  Here's the bottom line...  It doesn't make any fucking difference.  It's really about just choosing your poison.  With Watson you get a guy that holds the ball too long, can't put it downfield, but can get consistent short positive runs to keep drives alive.  With Sanders you get a guy that holds the ball too long, can't run very well, but will make 2-3 really exciting deep plays while inexplicably fucking up some routine plays along the way.  Which is the better option?  With a pretty good defense, I suppose the boring short term gains, but then you have to weigh in that one of the two quarterbacks is likeable and the other one a sociopath.  You're going to win 8-9 games.  The only question is how you want to get there.  I think with Sanders it's bigger variance, so if I'm Monken I want some form of certainty that Watson gives you.  Watson is your QB1 until he inevitably gets hurt.   

The best QB on the field was clearly Tyler Slough.  The whole time I was watching that game I was thinking, "that guy is much better than anyone in a Browns uniform".  If the Browns could ever solve this QB issue, the team would immediately rise to be a fringe playoff team.  Of course, these dipshits in the front office are unable to identify what a potential franchise QB looks like from their pool of options. We are likely to get some overhyped college player that sorta sucks heralded to be the next savior in the 2027 draft.  I can see that happening so clearly that the team will reach for somebody that will be this year's Brady Quinn.  I have no faith in the front office to find a good not great QB that they can just slot in for a six year run.  Let's take the 2025 draft for example.  Taking Quinshon Judkins in the second round when Tyler Slough was on the board looks like a big mistake in retrospect.  Judkins has a real "Trent Richardson Light" vibe to him, and I suspect he's off the team after next year.  Meanwhile Slough is ranked somewhere in the middle of the pack, and that's about all a team needs to be a fringe playoff team in the AFC this year.  Ehhh... that's a topic best to go fucking crazy about after they re-sign Watson for another 3 years and we are stuck watching him not work out and buy new gold rocket cars.    

Another tough game for Jared Verse as he had his normal Browns output of two tackles and no pressures, but that becomes more striking when you saw that Myles Garrett finally came back healthy and immediately made three sacks.  I am glad that all of the game coverage has stopped being about how Jared Verse this and Jared Verse that for the defense.  It's clearly Schwesinger flying around out there making 15 tackles and two sacks that makes it work.  That kid needs a good PR agent because despite being the defensive rookie of the year last year, he has no national profile whatsoever.  He's the best linebacker they have had since Clay Matthews, and it isn't even close.  The Browns defense is a top third defense, and that's what keeps the team in the middle of the pack in the league.  If I am Jared Verse, I try to get traded to a team that plays a 3-4, because he is not a fit as a 4-3 lineman and every game further drenches him in the scent of "failure".  

In the immortal words of Dennis Green, "they are who we thought they were".  This is a Browns team that is kinda crappy.  They are competitive though and frankly that's all I am looking for in my NFL team in 2026.  On the upside the team is 5-4, which is the same as the Patriots and Seahawks.  Cue psycho Browns fan to say "They have been winning games ugly, but at 5-4 they have a bunch of home games and they can beat Houston/Raiders/Falcons/Giants/Ravens/Colts/Bengals to go 12-5 to win the North."  I mean, sure... they could...  On the downside, they have a -35 point differential, which is the same as Jets/Raiders/Commanders/Falcons and I don't hear anyone talking about how any of those teams are going to win anything.  If anyone started talking to you about how the Raiders or Jets were going to make some kind of Playoff run, you would put them in a straitjacket.  They would be rocking back and forth in the their own filth at a government facility.  Don't feel bad.  It would be a reasonable thing to do to PROTECT THEM FROM THEMSELVES and I will gladly do that to anyone I hear talking about the Browns winning the AFC North.  

I imagine that the next week will be spent debating the merits of Browns Shitty QB #1 vs Browns Shitty QB #2 with sugar plum dreams of one of them being The Answer.  They're not.  The team has a weak offensive line.  You can run on the defense.  The QBs both sorta suck.  The special teams can't break a return.  There's no running game and none on the way.  The Browns are who we thought they were.  The good news is the Texans sorta suck too and maybe the Browns win this week.  They might not, but that's just going to be the way it is for this team.  A shaky 5-2 team very quickly became a shaky 5-4 team.  They are who we thought they were.

Go Browns.