The New Deshone Kizer Is Here

Well, I guess the Browns shouldn't have traded Josh Dobbs...  If you ever wanted to know the difference between an NFL QB and a pretty good college quarterback, Sunday at Browns Stadium provided that in bright unflinching focus.  Not since the Glory Days of Deshone Kizer has inept quarterback play been available for Browns fans to enjoy on a nice Fall afternoon.  Dorian Thompson-Robinson provided all the evidence necessary to show why he was drafted in the 5th round after entering UCLA as a "can't miss" NFL prospect.  I do not believe that anyone should refer to a quarterback that bad as "DTR".  Let's be frank.  He is not nor will ever be a starting QB in the NFL.  Can Dee Tee Argh become one of those shitty backups that ping pongs around the league hoping to never play to reveal how bad he is like Chase Daniel, Nathan Peterman or Blaine Gabbert?  It all depends on how much ass he kisses in the QB room and if he brings bagels.  Holy Shit.  He is an amateur out there with professionals.  

Let's be realistic.  If Watson is out for an extended period, the season is over.  It's also a good time to point out that we're not even sold on Watson, so that shows how fucking unbelievably bad Dee Tee Argh is.  There is no chance (zero) to win a game in the NFL with that guy.  I said out loud at one point, "If he was as good as Zack Wilson, we'd have a chance.".  Truth.  If you had Chubb healthy, there would be almost no fucking chance (.5%) to win, but instead you have Jerome Ford and burned up David Njoku.  I usually like to see Halloween in my sights before realizing the Browns season is over, but this murky Watson injury has the makings of spending November wistfully watching Tampa Bay Bucs games wishing Mayfield was back here.  Is that any way to spend a football season?

What really sucks for the Browns is that the Bengals are doomed with Burrow's cranky Achilles, the Steelers can't move the ball, and the Ravens chock full of cluster injuries came in and spanked this team.  There was never been a better time to win the AFC North.  Is there a bad karma hillbilly curse on the team because the Haslams are slippery grifters that bring negative results on anything they touch except selling beef jerky and American Flag t-shirts in their filthy Pilot truckstops?  Yes.  How can you overcome that?  I believe by burning the Haslams at the stake, but I don't think you are allowed to say that in a civilized society. 

The only thing worse that could happen to this NFL season is that Taylor Swift starts banging somebody on the roster.  Obviously Wonder Kicker would have been the guy, but with him doing line dances on Lower Broadway, I suppose only Watson is a candidate, and I don't see Taylor offering up any massages.  If I had to turn on the games each week to see Taylor Swift and giggling play-by-play announcers pointing her out in a suite, that would be it for me.  I would renounce this team forever and once again become a Bills fan.  There's no way Taylor is going to Buffalo, not because she doesn't like Josh Allen, but mostly because I don't see her being able to knock back 7 Labatts and a basket of wings in a snow storm.  She's soft.  God damn is this a dark period.

The Browns had 73 yards of passing in a game with an entire second half of Garbage Time.  They averaged 1.8 yards per pass.  The good news is that Dee Tee Argh also had three (3) interceptions.  The Browns better coach up PJ Walker, a guy that has played reasonably well in the league, and quietly move Argh to the practice squad.  There's a bye week next weekend so hopefully this mysterious Watson injury heals up so the Browns can get destroyed by the 49ers on the 15th.  The hope also is Njoku heals up from his fire pit accident, and they don't lose any other guys to things like kiln explosions.  Only the fucking Browns. This team just sucks, don't they?  

It's hard to believe in this organization.  Despite going into a divisional game with a rookie QB, the team put the gameplan on the shoulders of a guy that kinda sucked at UCLA.  The last I looked the Baltimore Ravens were better than Washington State or Stanford, so it's perplexing to understand the strategy.  The Browns don't have a reliable running back, and without at least average QB play they aren't competitive.  The Brownsy move was to roll into that game thinking "maybe Dee Tee Argh will be pretty good" as opposed to coming up with a plan like a reasonably good coaching staff.  I think we all know this is the last year of The Stefanski Era.  The only question is the little details of how they bungle the season.

Go Browns.