Browns Training Camp 2025

 

There is an odd amount of optimism swirling around locally about the 2025 Browns season.  I have absolutely no idea where this is coming from.  The 2025 Browns are doomed.  They are dead on arrival, a sacrificial lamb being trotted out simply as gambling fodder and a way to provide other engaged franchises with a record padding opponent.  The team exists to provide television revenue and league money to the Grifter Haslem Family so they can further leverage a way to destroy Cleveland's downtown by getting their fingers into the "waterfront development" project as they build a stadium no one wants with tax payer money stolen from Ohio's children's educational budget.  Is this the least likeable major sports franchise in North America?  Yes.

For two consecutive years they have drafted a player charged with domestic violence.  They still are on the hook for the worst contract in American Sports History when they knowingly gave a guaranteed contract to a sex predator that immediately stopped trying to succeed in football after signing the deal and instead focused on blowing all his money on jewelry, cars and civil case settlements.  Even the normally tight lipped vanilla Plain Dealer referred to the Haslem's financing plan for the white elephant new stadium as "skeezy".  The Browns owners continue to meddle with football decisions (Hello Shadeur Sanders!) despite ample evidence that they have no idea how to evaluate players.  They make former disgraced Washington owner Daniel Snyder look clever and snuggly.  All the while they show no connection to the community as they shovel the citizen's money into their pockets.  Is the worst part the  tone deaf marketing of how "tough" and "working class" Browns fans are coming from Dixie Southern owners that just bought a $25M Florida mansion after securing the Ohio Congress graft stadium money?  Or is it how smug the front office remains despite consistently bungling every major decision?  To root for the "Browns" requires the mental agility to disassociate the ownership group from the team. 

There is already talk about the Browns drafting Arch Manning and hiring Nick Saban to coach, and they haven't even lost in Week 1 yet.  While we can debate the potential of that move, it does smack of pure Haslem Fantasy Football thinking where you secure the names that have the most hype as opposed to the direction that people who know how to win are pointed.  Manziel>Mayfield>Watson>Sanders>Manning seems very Brownsy and thus destined to come true.  I think we will look back upon this doomed season as a variation of a "Cody Kessler/DeShone Kizer" year whereas Gabriel will be Kessler and Sanders the Kizer in this analogy.  This will be the latest blip in the never ending QB search before the team selects their next cursed "franchise" QB.

There are plenty of people talking about how the team has four QBs on the roster, suggesting that this means the cupboard is bursting.  The old football axiom of "if you have two QBS, you don't have any quarterback" can't begin to cover this upcoming fiasco.  Perhaps it means if you have four QBs you have negative one QBs?  Why people keep thinking the Browns of all teams will somehow find a diamond in the rough in the mid rounds and nurture that player to be a cornerstone to build the franchise around escapes all logic.  Fourteen teams made the playoffs in 2024.  13 of the 14 quarterbacks were first round draft picks.  Browns fans, already forgetting about Gabriel, are trying to convince themselves that Sanders is going to blossom into a spectacular NFL starter.  In the last 10 years, here are the QBs that have been drafted in the 5th round and started games in the league.  Spencer Rattler, Sam Howell, Mike White, Nathan Peterman, and Brett Hundley.  The combined record of those guys is 11-34.  You're telling me that the Browns outsmarted the rest of the NFL?  C'mon...  

There are a couple of scenarios that I see for the 2025 Browns.  Scenario #1:  The Browns start Flacco in September and he gives them a puncher's chance, but they are clearly outmanned.  They can't run the ball at all.  The team goes 1-5 and they decide to play the rookies.  Gabriel goes first and struggles because the team is bad and the offensive line is plagued by injuries.  The defense is average at best and the only way they can win is low scoring games where they win the turnover margin.  Gabriel gets replaced around Week 12 and Sanders plays poorly to wrap up the year.  The team goes 3-14 and drafts #1 or 2 overall.  Coaching staff and GM are blown out and it's another "rebuild".  The Browns release a steady stream of "New Stadium Is Going To Be Awesome" videos with insanely expensive ticket packages that gouge the fans.

Scenario #2:  The Browns start Pickett and play super conservative football.  They try to win games 17-13, but the defense can't stop the run because they forgot they needed inside linebackers.  The team loses very boring games and a malaise descends over the team.  Unless Pickett somehow leads the team to 3 or 4 wins in the first seven games, the rookies are going to play.  Flacco, traded to a desperate team that needed a veteran backup going into the year for a 6th round pick, plays a few games and looks twice as good as anyone on the Browns roster further cementing the belief the team intentionally tanked.   The team goes 4-13 and drafts #1 or 2 overall.  Coaching staff and GM are blown out and it's another "rebuild".  The Browns release a steady stream of "New Stadium Is Going To Be Awesome" videos with insanely expensive ticket packages that gouge the fans.

We all know what is about to happen.  Brace yourself.  It's going to be a disaster.

Go Browns.