Cleveland Browns 2025 Preview

 

The 2025 Cleveland Browns are going to be bad.  Back in 2023 when it had become evident that the Watson trade was a debacle, the 2025 Browns season was destined to be a pit of misery.  The team is stuck with $45M spent on a guy that is focused on shopping which results in a QB room with a 41 year old veteran, a first round bust, and two mid round rookies that we are all pretending are going to be starting NFL QBs (they're not).  It looks like Watson is just now figuring out that his NFL career is over, so he is pretending that he's on the fast track back to being an elite player (he's not) by posting slick social media videos.  I guess he thinks that if he makes three or four videos of himself wearing Browns gear and running around the rest of the league will think "That Deshaun fella is a real "team first guy" with a real fire in his belly.  I can't remember what happened in Cleveland.  Maybe we should give him $200M so he can buy some more diamond shoes and Birkin cars!".  Quick prediction... Watson will be broke by 2030 and everyone will be shocked.  "How can you spend $250M that fast?".  Well, that's easy when you have to pay an army of lawyers, civil suit settlements, and then take the rest of your remaining money to buy bullshit.  All that bullshit he's buying is the money the team needed for a QB, and the draft choices they gave up would have been 4 other starters, so now they're fucked.  The Watson bill came in the mail, and the team is now paying up.  Enjoy 2025 Browns fans.

The big headlines are about the rookie QBs.  The preseason always makes those guys look better than they are, and this season is no exception.  Look, the rookies have been competing largely against players that are destined for practice squads or are going to be out of football entirely.  They should look really good.  Check out this stat line:  19-of-31 for 258 yards, one touchdown, zero interceptions, and a 98.6 passer rating.  Damn!  That guy is going to be REALLY good.  That preseason stat line is Deshone Kizer's going into the 2017 season.  Everyone better chill the fuck out on Gabriel and Sanders.  Let's be realistic.  At best Gabriel will become a reliable backup, a Chase Daniels sort of player that can't win a game for his team but maybe won't lose it for them.  Sanders will probably bounce around the league for a few years due to his last name alone.  He didn't slide to the 5th round because the league has a vendetta against him.  There's this idea that the NFL doesn't want Sanders to succeed because he's an "entitled black guy".  Quick update, every team in the league has at least a few guys that fit that description.  It's not like this is the first time NFL teams have encountered a cocky young athlete with a lot of money.  Have you watched that Netflix Dallas Cowboys documentary?  The entire 1994 Dallas Cowboys roster was filled with big egos making more money than they knew what to do with and they went out and won a Super Bowl.  If a player can help a team win, they'll put up with ANYTHING.  By all accounts Sanders has been great in the locker room.  If he plays better than the rest of the other guys in that scratch-n-dent QB room, he'll play.  Let's be realistic.  They are going to run everyone out there at some point, so just wait around and you'll see him play.

The real issue looks like the offensive line.  The line has been injured two years in a row.  You've already got Pocic at center hurt.  Three of the linemen (Bitonio, Conklin, Teller) are over 30 years old.  How many times have we seen the Browns sign players with "he's been hurt the last two years, but if he stays healthy, he should be good" reputations and it works out?  Bitonio is held together with tape and popsicle sticks.  Teller and Conklin have both had season ending knee injuries.  How are those guys going to stay healthy?  If the Browns hadn't made that Watson trade, they would have already drafted two high round offensive linemen to shore up that line.  ESPN has the Browns O line ranked 24th, whatever that's worth.  There are big concerns at LT with Jones, so the team signed 34 year old Cornelius Lucas as insurance as a backup.  He's sort of floated around the league for years, and this should be his last stop.  In short, he is not "the answer" at LT either.  I don't know how these guys will be able to make the Browns shitty running backs look good.

The Browns defense is expected to be pretty good.  Schwartz is going to keep running out the same idea of "our player is going to beat your player" and high risk/high reward strategy.  The two best resume players on the team are on the D line (Garrett and Graham) so you'd expect success rushing the passer with standard sets.  Who knows what the linebackers are going to give you, but it should be similar to last year.  The defensive backfield, as always, will be a matter of attrition.  If Ward is on the field, they will be good.  When he's out his traditional 4-5 games, they will be in trouble.  The talk around the league is that this is a marginal Top 10 defense.  I think they live and die by what the defense gives them.  It seems like that the only way the Browns can win games is to try and sludge out 24-21 type wins.  

I don't know who they are keeping at kicker.  Dustin Hopkins suddenly became shaky as shit, so I'm not sure why you would have any confidence trotting him out there.  Once these kickers get The Yips, the only thing that seems to cure them is a change of scenery.  That makes Andre Szmyt the next kicker we all inevitably hate.  I don't know how to pronounce his name because I didn't watch any of the preseason broadcasts.  Watching preseason football is like watching a Led Zeppelin tribute band.  It might slightly look like Zeppelin, but that ain't Robert Plant up there.  We all know it.  Let's stop pretending it's anything except a scrimmage for bottom roster players and free agents.   I think if you say Szmyt's name out loud the Devil rises from the ground, so take care.  Whoever they keep will no doubt sorta suck.  

This is a team in full rebuild mode.  They are 5.5 point underdogs at home against Cincinnati and getting 12.5 the following week in Baltimore.  The gambling industry does not think the Browns are going to be very good, and I don't either.  If you look at the schedule, there aren't many games where I'm thinking "The Browns can win that.".  Oct 19th at home vs Miami maybe?  The following week at New England?  Jets/Raiders in successive weeks is possible.  They will win one of the division games because it's the NFL and that's how shit works.  I can't see how they possibly win more than five.  The wild card is what they do with the QB position.  If they pull Flacco after they start 0-5 or 1-4, they're doomed.  That will result in a roulette wheel of shitty QBs trying to hope they lucked into not having to take a shot at a new franchise QB in next year's draft.  That does seem the most plausible scenario for the 2025 Browns though.

Once again they have decided to "rebuild" and "trust the process" with the same people that currently fucked it up.  Haslam can't stay out of the football operations, and though I don't think Andrew Berry is some sort of savant, at least he's making more sound decisions than Jimmah and Dee.  This might also be a good time to point out that Paul Depodesta continues to take a giant check from the Browns while living in California helping them to continued failure.  Since 2016, this "Chief Strategy Officer" has led them to two winning seasons in nine years.  4 coaches, 17 starting QBs and finished 3rd or 4th in eight of his nine seasons is not a great resume, but he's still there.  Maybe the Browns think he's Jonah Hill from Moneyball and don't realize that Depodesta killed the Dodgers in two years, then he was head of scouting for the Mets from 2010-15 where his players then helped the Mets finish 3rd/4th in their division over the next 6 years from 2016 on.  Maybe he has an AI Jonah Hill that jumps on Zoom calls during meetings and everyone is excited to be talking to that funny kid from "Superbad".  I don't know how to explain it.  If you bring Depodesta into your organization, you will lose.  

The Browns have one focus, this new stadium scam.  Their dream is to screw the City of Cleveland, take the money they swiped from kids in the Ohio Education Fund, and build a monolith we don't need or want so they can take ALL the money.  In their fantasy, the team is going to be great when the stadium opens, people are going to be giddy at the facility, and it's all just going to work out somehow.  I have no doubt that this money pit stadium will be built.  The problem will be the team will suck because the Browns always suck.  Unless there is an ownership change, the Browns are going to be what they have always been- the worst pro sports franchise in America.  With a Browns win total of 5.5 in Vegas, do the smart thing.  Play the under.  Browns in 2025 season record prediction... 5-12.  

Go Browns.