Never A Doubt

 

I watched the Browns game in a sports bar in Paris.  This is not the ideal situation as if you are an NFL fan as you need to wait for the Manchester United v Arsenal match to end before they free up the big screens.  Also making for an interesting atmosphere, I got to share a large six person booth with an African couple.  At first I thought they spoke English as the guy had on a Packers jacket with gold rimmed sunglasses and his female companion, a large woman with a bleached blonde wig and eye lashes about four inches long, seemed to intentionally be there.  It quickly became evident they didn’t, the guy’s jacket was just a jacket, and his interest in the NFL was about the same as mine is in Ligi Kuu Bara pro soccer.  They came for the deep fried chicken sandwiches I guess.  Pleasant folks to sit with though.

Anyway, the futbol match ended, and the Browns game went up on the screen around the end of the first quarter.  My thought going into this game was “the Browns defense will have to be really good, and they’ll have to get a bunch of turnovers to compete”.  Check and check.  First off, let’s stop pretending that Jordan Love is some big deal NFL QB.  That guy really looks like a “we can win with” player instead of a “he can make us win” type guy.  Granted, that would put him in the Browns Circle Of Honor, but in Green Bay he’s going to be a constant “maybe we should upgrade over him” discussion.  That gift interception he threw at the end of the game was the reason the Packers lost that game.  Sure, the Browns defense played their asses off but that one play killed ‘em.  Well, that and the fumble down near the Browns end zone.

You have to hand it to the Browns defense.  They pulled out that win like we have been watching the Steelers do for about the last 15 years.  They put on a great pash rush, minimized big plays, and kept up the intensity.  If Myles doesn’t get hurt, he will win that Defensive Player Of The Year award with the stat line he will compile.  The downside is the Browns offense is so terrible, it’s hard to hand an award like that to a team that will look lifeless for most of the season.  As I was sitting there in the booth with my new friends knocking back Moretti pints, it was evident for 59 minutes that the Browns would lose something like 13-3 and Cleveland sports talk radio would be going crazy calling for Dillon Gabriel.  Then it all changed in 37 seconds.

Let’s be frank about Joe Flacco.  He looks like a 40 year old dude playing QB.  He runs like he’s got platform Doc Marten KISS boots on, and his throws sometimes lack any sense of purpose other than bailing out of the play.  I have no clue why they have stopped doing all that play action stuff they did so well in Week 1, but ...whatever?  It’s a tough situation with Flacco.  The fanbase loves him for that end of the season run he had two years ago, but two years in the NFL is a lifetime.  He’s like a girlfriend you had a fling with when you were 19 working as a lifeguard one summer.  After school started back up, you both went your separate ways, but then after college graduation decided to hook back up again.  The problem is you both sorta changed and you can’t rekindle that summer magic again, so you know you are sheepishly going to have to back out of your relationship again.  That’s where the Browns are right now.  They are getting ready to have the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation and then force a strained smile when they pass Joe in the Berea hallways when they start dating Gabriel.  

Let’s not kid ourselves though.  Dillon Gabriel is not coming in here and lighting up opposing defenses.  This season is very much on track to continue on the “Defense plays hard, Offense can’t do much, let’s lose some games” trajectory.  With Flacco you’ll lose these games with lower variance as he dumps passes.  With the rookies (and they’ll play both of them before this is over) there will be some exciting highlights and catastrophically awful interceptions to enjoy.  It’s pick your poison.  I think they start Joe another two weeks unless his stat line is so brutal they don’t have a choice.  Gabriel is going to get every chance to succeed, and he needs a few more weeks of learning how to prepare weekly as an NFL starter.  The last thing the front office needs is to toss out their handpicked draft choice and have him flame out because he’s too green.  Then they have the possibility that Sanders goes in with the extra prep time, lights it up in Nov/Dec, and makes Berry and Depodesta look like idiots. (Though they might be)  

It was nice to see the Browns pull one out of their ass on Sunday as their normal role is to be the team that gets the kick blocked and snatches defeat from the jaws of victory like the Packers did.  That one blocked kick and ensuing patchwork drive for the field goal will change the culture of the team for a month.  If the Browns had lost like it looked like they were going to it’s “We need to put in the rookie RIGHT FUCKING NOW because the team FUCKING SUCKS.  Let’s BURN IT ALL DOWN!!!”.  Since the Browns won, the whole vibe changes to “What a gutty team first win!  We are building a WINNING CULTURE here!  As soon as we get some more offensive production to help our GREATEST DEFENSE SINCE THE 85 BEARS, we are making a DEEP PLAYOFF RUN!!!”.    

A win is better than a loss in the NFL no matter how you get it.  This is the one miracle win a team gets every NFL season so they can bask in it this week.  Shitzmick came through in a big way, though I do admit sort of hoping he would miss that kick just to see if an angry mob would set him on fire out in the player's parking garage.  Hey, he hit the kick though and they won.  Now I love him almost as much as I did Wonder Kicker.  It would have been a tough pill to swallow if you were a Packers fan, but rest assured that my new African friend in his Packers jacket seemed unbothered.  The 2025 season rolls on.  What a winning culture we are building here! 

Go Browns.