Delusional Browns Offseason Guide

 

My favorite delusional Browns fan period is always the offseason.  There are two key components which you can always rely on with Browns fans.  1). After the NFL Draft, Browns fans will inevitably forget that the Browns weren't the only team that added new players.  "Now that we drafted Smith from Ohio State and Jones from Tennessee there is NO WAY the League can handle our d-line!"  These are the confident statements made from myopic fans that have no idea that everybody else got better too.  Browns Fan only sees potential upside.  The same people that forgot how excited they were when the Browns signed Dwayne Bowe and Carlos Hyde are equally excited that the Browns signed an offensive lineman for a kazillion dollars from the Texans, a team that is in desperate need to sign offensive linemen.  

2) The complete misperception Browns fans have about the appeal of becoming a Cleveland Brown.  Let's take a look at the Browns primary needs... An entire offense except for TE, a guard, and backup QB.  Besides that they are completely set.  Any given day you'll hear Browns sports talk debating about if they should bring in Kyler Murray, or Tua or maybe Willis.  The key factor is do any of those guys have any desire whatsoever to ruin the remainder of their career in Cleveland?  Browns fans somehow believe that they are a more desirable landing spot than Minnesota, Pittsburgh, or anywhere else for that matter.  This is where QBs go to die.  For fuck's sake people, think it through for a second.  What does that conversation sound like from their agent?  "Kyler?  Hey, it's your agent!  Look, we have some interest out there from the Vikings, Steelers and Browns.  In Minnesota you'll be throwing to maybe the best receiver in the league and play on turf for a team that generally goes to the playoffs.  Now in Pittsburgh, you'll be on a regular playoff team that is very steady in the front office and will look for you to play clean football.  But hold onto your hat... Now Cleveland as you may recall hasn't been good for decades, their ownership is just as bad as it was in Phoenix, they don't have any receivers and the running back almost lost his leg.  Oh, and they only have one offensive lineman at the moment and you'll have to play most of your games in freezing gale force winds.  But the fans are REALLY supportive!"  Let's be clear.  If a player has a better option (really, ANY option) they are going to another team except Cleveland.  I would.  Wouldn't you?

The best free agents for the Browns are the Ravens center Linderbaum, Pierce the Colts receiver, and Rasheed Walker the Packers tackle.  The Browns aren't getting those guys.  They are a shit franchise so they have one way to move ahead.  They need to wildly overpay players, so second rate rate lineman have to choose between maybe one other offer for X and the Browns offer of 2X and then say things to their friends and family like, "It can't be that bad, right?" or "I know it's going to suck, but I'm getting PAID!".  Again, I understand that thinking.  I was listening to a former GM for the Carolina Panthers talk about the draft and free agent options.  One of the key questions he had of prospects was "How much do they like football?  Do they want to play or is this just a job?".  Let's be honest.  If you willingly come to Cleveland to play football, it's just a job and the decision was economic.  A good example?  Look up "Watson, DeShaun QB".  

Browns psycho fans still don't realize that they are still one more season away from being unshackled from Watson.  There's no money and that fucking guy is still clogging up acquiring the most important position on the field, so the Browns are screwed.  It won't be until next year when we can all speculate on how the Browns will bungle the team building, realizing their coaching hire was a mistake, not signing key players, etc.  The real fear is if Watson wins the starting job in camp, a distinct possibility after playing for so many different OCs over the years.  Bulletin:  I think Watson finally figured out that he's going to be out of the NFL and not getting those big checks unless he does something very dramatic on the football field and HE IS TRAINING HARD.  Seriously, I've seen him put forth more effort in the last 45 days than he has in his entire stay as a Brown.  Here's a Doomsday Scenario... Watson plays all year, and he's OK.  He's not really good but he's not awful either.  We all still hate him, but he throws for 2600 yards, 24 TDs and 10 INTs.  He's just good enough that the team goes 7-10 or 6-11 and will draft with pick 10.  The Browns find themselves out of the range of being able to get one of the three agreed upon "franchise QBs" and now have to debate about signing Watson to another deal for $100M+ AGAIN.  Why does that seem the most Brownsy scenario and thus the most likely course of events for the 2026 season?

Go Browns.